As the day fades, I reflect on the last 10 years. It's hard to imagine my life without my boys, yet there was a time when having a family beyond husband and wife seemed impossible. In fact, I should probably start at the very beginning. Fred and I were married in May of 1994. In December of 1994, 13 days before Christmas, we found out I was pregnant. Nothing about the pregnancy was normal. Turns out I had a tubal pregnancy and the joy of being pregnant was ended only 4 days later, 9 days before Christmas. That was Dec. 16, 1994. It was a very "sad" Christmas for us. Although we had not planned to have children so quickly in our marriage, the lost pregnancy made us yearn for a baby. We decided to start trying as soon as the doctor cleared me. Fast forward: 2 years of Clomid, shots, OB visits, ultrasounds and still "NO BABY". I actually conceived twice but had miscarriages within the first month. I suffered silently, my heart breaking EVERY SINGLE MONTH! Then came the time when Fred was transferred to Memphis, TN. Turns out my 2nd Cousin was an OB/GYN and was working in the same town we moved to and lived within a mile of our apt. My grandfather, God love him, called my cousin and said "you have one goal, get Sharon pregnant". Yes, he really said that! Such a funny story. Judi had the most precious new baby, Rachel. We fell in love with her and often sat with her while Judi or Andrew worked. During this time, Judi ran dozens of tests and put me on a myriad of medicines to help conceive. I won't lie, there are times when we just were ready to give up. Suddenly, Judi moved back to her home state NJ, and I was assigned to Dr. Lincoln. He was a precious man who specialized in infertility and had twins of his own (naturally, and it might have been triplets, it's kinda foggy now). Still... No baby! Out of the blue, Fred lost his job in Memphis and we returned to Rock Hill to start anew. A fresh start, that's what we needed, RIGHT?! So by 1997 we were back in Rock Hill, and desperately trying for a baby with a new Dr.. The meds, the shots, the ultrasounds, the procedures. We actually went through intrauterine insemination twice with no success. We got to the point where the new doc, Dr. Revell, said we needed to pursue Invitro Fertilization. I was not willing, and said ABSOLUTELY NOT! If I was going to put all that money into having a baby, I wanted to be assured at the end, there was a baby. So thus began our road to adoption. A road that would take us on a trip we never envisioned ourselves. First there were the "private" adoptions where a friend knew a friend who wanted to give up a baby and connected us. 2 of those fell through almost immediately and then the last where we followed all the way from 3 months to birth. We had ultrasound pics, we knew we were having a girl (my dream I thought), decorated a nursery, actually put the babies name up on the wall. That was in August of 2003. I received a call from the birthmom's mother, a month early, telling us that the baby was born and we needed to get in touch with "misty" ASAP! I located the hospital where she delivered and she answered the phone and said "I'm keeping the baby, and don't call back". I was hysterical! The social worker called her and she confirmed that she was in fact keeping the baby. We were devastated! I called the adoption agency that was helping facilitate that particular adoption and told them, start the process, put us in the system. That was Sept. 1st, 2003. During the first week of Dec. we received a phone call, the one everyone waits for. "You have been chosen by a birthmother". Ok, ecstatic does not describe the feeling I felt. We were told our baby was due the week of Christmas, however because of the decision to have her baby adopted, the birthmother did not want to chance going into labor and having a baby on Christmas, and then saying goodbye to "it", that they were scheduling an induction for Dec. 17'th. Wait?! What?! We have less than 2 weeks to prepare for a baby? Is it a girl or a boy? Where is the birthmother located? Oh, the questions. The baby was a boy, they were located in SC near the beach, and they would let us know the specifics when it got closer. On Dec. 17'th, at 8:49pm, we received a call, that our baby boy had been born, he was healthy, and he weighed 6 lbs 7oz., and "Do you want him circumcised". Oh the joy that flooded our souls. However, with every adoption there is a time. A time that the birthmother has to wait to sign the consent for adoption form. SC is 24 hours after any anesthesia has been given, including an epidural. At the same time, it is also almost a fail proof law, that once the relinquishment is signed, it is final. I asked the agency to please call me the 18'th and let me know the minute it was signed. Only then, could I breathe a sigh of relief. Only then, would I know I was really bringing a baby home. To relieve my tension, On Dec. 18'th my mother and I went and exchanged ALL of the baby girl clothes we had. We bought boy clothes; adorable cute boy things. We had a blast! However, the tension was there that by 3pm, my phone had still not rang. I told mom I would head home and call her when I knew something. I was literally beside myself. I got home about 4:20 and my answering machine was blinking with 3 calls. (yes, those were the days of answering machines, not voicemail :) The adoption agency's first call was "Hey Sharon, this is Sharon Cole, please give me a call". The second was "Sharon, this is Sharon Cole, I really need you to give me a call before 5 today". The third was "Sharon, this is Sharon Cole. PLEASE PLEASE call me today!". To say my hands were shaking as I made that phone call was an understatement. In my heart, I knew that the birth mother had changed her mind. Sharon asked if Fred and I could come to the agency (in Tega Cay at that time), and could we be there in the next hour. I gulped a big breath of air and asked "Why?". She replied "Oh, we just need you to sign some papers before we bring the baby home tomorrow". REALLY?! Ummmm, NO! I had dotted every i, I had crossed every t. I knew something was wrong. "You haven't even told me if she's signed the relinquishment yet". Sharon replied "Oh, I think it's ok, yall just get on up here". With a timid heart and nerves that would have unwound at any moment, I called Fred and asked him to meet me there ASAP. I borrowed a car seat with the understanding that "I'm coming home with it empty and my heart broken". There was just no way, they would have released that baby in less than 24 hours and I knew we were going to be devastated yet again. Still, I took a car seat (we were going to buy ours that night) and the diaper bag which had been packed for 2 weeks. Fred and I met and hugged and reluctantly walked in together. We were asked to sit down and Fred was instructed he needed to stay close to me. GULP! Here it comes... "Your birth mother decided to keep her baby". Well, what do you know, JUST WHAT I EXPECTED! That's right, she backed out. Fred got up and went to the bathroom, his face was green. I heard him wretching and I was just stunned. I actually did not even really react, other than to say " I'm done." We were not meant to be parents and I could not put myself through this ONE MORE TIME! That's when a miracle happened that forever changed our lives. We were told there was some good news.... What could possibly be good about this situation.... "Well, another baby was born on Dec. 16'th. and the adoptive family backed out just this morning.". I sat up. I waited. I think I held my breath for a good 3 minutes. "well, and here's the situation... This baby is going into Foster Care... UNLESS, you guys would like to adopt it.". ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I dared to get excited. In fact, I waited to get excited. My next two questions still make me laugh.... 1. "What is the baby"? "oh, he's a little boy, African American, same as the other baby, just a little smaller, is that ok". "Oh, oh yes, I just returned all my girl clothes this morning, and I was gonna flip if I had to do it again". (really that's what I thought!) Question #2. "Where is this baby? It is 7 days before Christmas, are you really going to tell me I have a baby, but I have to go through Christmas without it". That's where my life changed. In that one instant, the world was right, God had made a way and we were becoming parents. Her reply, and non challantly, I may add "Oh, he's in my office asleep". Well, that is where my emotions decided to come back into play! "What?" I replied, GO GET MY SON!". "Do you want to hear his medical history?"
"NO! GO GET MY SON!". And at that very moment, the assistant walked in with a car seat, carrying the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. I walked over and just stared. I asked if I could touch him, it was if he was a vapor and really wasn't sitting there in front of me. I was told "pick him up, he's yours, the relinquishment is signed, he is legally free for adoption and you are his parents.
I picked up my beautiful 5lb 11oz. little boy and just sobbed. He was real, he was ours, and we had a baby! Now, let me tell you. If you have never been involved in an adoption process, there are not babies just lined up waiting for you to adopt. If your birth mother backs out, you wait to get chosen again!. Christopher Jackson Gravley was meant to be our son. God created him just for us! There is no other way to describe how that happened. Now of course there was legal paperwork and final adoption proceedings to go through, but he was ours. Fast forward 10 years: Today my baby turned 10 years old. This time 10 years ago, I did not know he existed. God did! God planned it! He planned to give us this incredible creature who I am constantly in awe of. Did you happen to catch the timing? Dates were important in this blog. (more like an episode or a small book) Christopher was born exactly 9 years to the date of my very first miscarriage. That's right! If you go back to the beginning, you see I had my tubal pregnancy and it was terminated on Dec. 16, 1994; Christopher was born, Dec. 16, 2003. 9 long years and in one instant, none of that mattered. We brought him home on Dec. 18'th, only 2 hours after meeting him. What a Christmas gift that was! He was the tiniest thing ever and fit in a stocking.
We have a picture in his stocking that he still uses to this day with the numbers 2003. He was beautiful, he was God given, and he was ours! He can tell you his story backwards and forwards, but he prefers to crawl in bed with me late at night when he's having trouble falling asleep and says "Mom, tell me my story". I always oblige! I have often shared this story with people to show them God's power, God's love, and God's healing. He healed my broken heart! So, my only question left is "What in the world happened to the last 10 years?". Where did the time go? We are in double digits now and he has a gorgeous little brother who is 6. That story will come later, for today is Christopher's day! I thank God every day for my little miracle, my first born son. I just can't imagine life with out him. And that my friends is Christopher's Story!
We have a picture in his stocking that he still uses to this day with the numbers 2003. He was beautiful, he was God given, and he was ours! He can tell you his story backwards and forwards, but he prefers to crawl in bed with me late at night when he's having trouble falling asleep and says "Mom, tell me my story". I always oblige! I have often shared this story with people to show them God's power, God's love, and God's healing. He healed my broken heart! So, my only question left is "What in the world happened to the last 10 years?". Where did the time go? We are in double digits now and he has a gorgeous little brother who is 6. That story will come later, for today is Christopher's day! I thank God every day for my little miracle, my first born son. I just can't imagine life with out him. And that my friends is Christopher's Story! 
Precious! Absolutely, precious!
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